Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
