he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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