a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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