I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
