Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
