I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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