I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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