i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
