how do flat chested girls get laid?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
