i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Actions speak louder than pants.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
