I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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