I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
