I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
