Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
