We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I am mentally ready for anal.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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