is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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