If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
