what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
