Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
