If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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