Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
