somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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