I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
