im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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