If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
