I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
