Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
