So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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