you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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