haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
