i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
