haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
