Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Boobs are out for the taking
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
