I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
