Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you traded sex for a burrito?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
