I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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