Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
