You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
