i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
