I love black thongs
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
