The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
