i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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