He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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