just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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