it was like his penis was on wheels.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
