Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
