she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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