My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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