So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
