What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It's blow job season.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
