Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
